That One Time
by Panic-for-Bucky-Barnes
Summary: Bucky Barnes recalls the time he became close to one of his handlers, and what happened when he told her. WARNING: very strong Bucky feels, including description of a prototype arm he had before he got his actual prosthetic.


That One Time

Bucky Barnes POV

I remember when I had just a prototype for my arm, it was like two metal pipes with a makeshift metal pipe fingers, no palm, no bicep, just a mess of pipes and a hinge for the elbow. I remember the woman who designed it, not just the prototype but the final product. She was always nice to me, never treated me like an animal the way everyone else treated me. She snuck me extra food and pain-killers, that sort of thing. I guess she was looking for a romantic relationship, once she told me that she never married because of how busy she was with HYDRA. Her name always slipped my memory, I guess she found it attractive that I forgot who she was daily. Her name... her name was... it still slips my memory, even today. But I remember it all, I remember her, I remember her hair, I remember her voice, I remember her eyes when I told her my feelings that one time.

"Bucky, your eyes are my escape," she said that morning. I sat at the floor of my cell, smiling like a goof when she said it.

"Thank you... thank you... umm..." I couldn't remember her name again, she always expected that.

"Oh Bucky! You're so cute when you forget my name," she said. "Alice, don't forget it," she played.

"Come in here Alice, it'll make the grey brighter," I flirt. "It always gets brighter when you walk into a room," I add. She smiles and motions for the guards to get the keys. With one click of the lock, she enters my cell, white lab coat flying behind her. Alice's pencil skirt and blouse made her look even more stunning than she was outside the cell. She sits down next to me and lays her head in my lap. I awkwardly stroke her hair with me prototype arm.

"Bucky," She says. I look down at her and see that she is waiting for me to respond.

"Yes?" I say.

"How are you feeling? With the CTS-4?" She asked. I furrow my brows and look up.

"The what?" I ask. Then it hits me, what she was talking about. "Oh you mean the Brain Blender! I've always wondered what it's supposed to do," I tell her. She giggled a little bit.

"Brain Blender, so clever," she giggled. "It's supposed to control you, I guess. Tear away your emotions so you don't feel a thing, it makes you forget how to feel," she explained casually. "So technically you shouldn't be able to feel any emotion right now," she added.

"But... but I feel for you," I tell her, looking down to see her emotional reaction. Her eyes go wide as she tears herself away from me, frantically pounding at the bars to let her out.

"What?" I yell at her, holding my arms out in confusion. Within minutes, Alice is back again with a stretcher and twice as many guards. One of them stepped out from the crowd to talk with Alice, who was looking in at me.

"What happened here Dr. Prusiova?" The guard asked her.

"He confessed feelings for me, The CTS-4 should make him incapable of doing that," she told him. The cell door opens, and I stand up in curiosity. A bunch of guards flood in and within seconds pin me down and carry me to the stretcher. There, they start to strap me in.

"I'll let you deal with this Dr. Prusiova," the guard said. Alice came into my view and triggered the straps on my arms, the slack on the left one hung down the side of the stretcher. She looked at me straight in the eye before I felt a pinprick on my right arm.

"What's that?" I asked her calmly. She looked at me again and shook her head.

"Amnesia," she responded. My eyelids became heavier as my sight faded to deep black. Last thing I remember seeing was being carried to an operation table, Alice barking orders at other doctors.

I open my eyes to see blank white space. I hear unknown voices swirling around my head, unable to comprehend any of the words. I look down and see not just one hand, but two. The second hand was metal and horrifying, it felt different than the pipe I had before. Suddenly, it attacked, the nearest scientist was in its hold, being choked to death. It had a mind of its own, I hand no control. They pull the scientist away from it and one stays, looking proud at his work. I recognized the guy from somewhere, I've seen him before. One sound kept playing repeatedly, sweeping around my head, trying to get my attention.

"Soldier? Soldier. Soldier!" I could make out the sound, it was a word. A word that was meant for me, for obvious reasons. Turning my head, the white landscape changes and for the first time I realize that I was staring at the ceiling. I see the same man who was talking to that one woman who was so nice to me.

"Good, you're awake," I see his mouth move, but his voice seems delayed in my head. The sound of his words come seconds after he starts speaking and continues after he stops.

"James Barnes, I am your new handler," the man says. "My name is Jim Green." I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"Wh-what happened to... her? That woman who... who you were talking to," I ask him. Green had a blank stare on his face for a moment before he realizes who I was talking about.

"Oh, you mean Dr. Alice Prusiova? You don't remember?" He looks at me in question. I shake my head no, I don't remember anything. Green sighed and motions for me to get up off the operating table. I sit up and he motions for me to stand on the floor. I slowly move off the table and onto the floor, familiarizing myself with my surroundings. I stood and waited for his order, scared for what he could do to me.

"Stand at ready soldier," Green said. I scowled at his command, only one person could tell me to do that.

"Stand at ready!" He barked. I slowly straightened my back and stood tall. Green got right into my face and searched it for something, anything that could give away a hint of emotion. Out of the blue, he slapped me. I fell to the floor on my knees, shaking with fear.

"You killed her, stupid. We told you to, do you not remember?" Green spat at my face. He slapped me again, harder this time.

"Zola has much more work to do," Green said. I heard his footsteps echo out of the room, and once they were faint, I curled up into a ball and cried.


End file.
